


Behind the Lens

by YellowJewl



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Bad video game lingo, Cameras, Cats, Crosswalks are scary guys, Denial of Feelings, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hijinks & Shenanigans, more tags to come probably
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:48:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 21,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26934628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YellowJewl/pseuds/YellowJewl
Summary: You didn't need to interact with people. You were perfectly content with observing life from behind your camera. That was until he came along.After meeting Bokuto, everything seemed to change for you. You seemed to change. But do you have enough courage to live a life that's not confined to behind a lens?
Relationships: Bokuto Koutarou/Reader
Comments: 16
Kudos: 57





	1. Ants

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first haikyuu work, I hope you enjoy!!

For as long as you could remember, you had a camera on you. It was like it was a part of you, another limb. You never felt more comfortable than when the leather strap of your old camera, that your father had gifted you, was slung around your neck as the device was perched delicately on your fingertips. 

Photography was everything to you. Your father described photography to be as natural as speaking, a powerful language which speaks to our emotions. It allows us to tell our story and show others our framing of the world around us. It allowed the photographer to express joy and sorrow, wonder and sympathy. Every human emotion can find a place in photography.

It was an outlet.

You were never too good at voicing your emotions. You were a quiet child, still are really, as all the other children ran around and shouted and played, you would sit on the cool cement and watch. Interaction was highly overrated. Watching was a lot more enjoyable. If you were to actually interact and 'play' with the other kids then you might miss something exceptional. Like the look of unbridled joy on a classmate's face as they slid down the slide or swung on the swing set. Any interference could ruin such a sight, if you were to interact, who's to say that you would actually get to see that smile for real? It could become distorted and forced into something fake by your presence alone.

And so you preferred to stay an observer, taking mental snapshots of the world around you. That was until you were given your first camera. Your father was a photographer and some of your best memories growing up was spending time with him in the darkroom. A darkroom is used to process photographic film, to make prints and to carry out other associated tasks. It is a room that can be made completely dark to allow the processing of the light-sensitive photographic materials, including film and photographic paper. It was there that the language of photography came to life and where your dad gave you your first camera on your twelve birthday. 

After that you took it everywhere with you, to dinner, camping, school. You were never seen without it. Finally you could capture the exceptional moments in time, you could make art from the click of a button. Your classmates however…

It wasn't like your classmates were rude about your hobby. It was more like they just didn't understand. It was like they thought it was a game or toy, just something to mess around with, constantly begging you to take pictures of them. And in the beginning you obliged, but whenever the film developed you couldn't shake how fake everyone looked in the pictures they had posed for.

And so you began to decline to take pictures of your fellow middle schoolers. At least when they were looking. You found yourself enjoying the candid photos you took much more. It became all about capturing the unplanned moments. You were an observer once more, a fly on the wall, allowing things to play out naturally with your shutter button clicking along the way. This way, a photo became what it was always meant to be, honest, full of life and emotion.

It was your second year at Fukurodani Academy and you were still trying to capture those honest moments. That's probably what brought you to this moment right here, laying on your stomach, in your school uniform, on top of the asphalt ground as you snap pictures of ants attacking a discarded lollipop. Ah, nature at it's finest. It may take hours, days maybe but those ants will devour the candy until there's nothing left or someone picks up the trash and throws it away. You gotta admire that, they never give up.

As you are engulfed in your subject matter, you hardly hear the heavy footfalls quickly approaching. But you do feel the larger loafer kick into your side just before its owner is sent toppling over you and lands flat on his bottom.

Ignoring the pain in your side, you snap your head over to the student who tripped over you and see just how disheveled he looks. He's still sitting on the ground, his legs parted from the fall he took and one of his arms behind him supporting his weight as the other rubs his head. His uniform is messy, his tie loose and the knees of his dress pants scuffed from the tumble he just took. You spot a few sweat beads on his face probably due to the running he was doing just before colliding into you, his hair though remains intact, you suspect the amount of gel he used to spike up his hair is thanks to that.

Huh, you know it's funny but his hair kind of makes him look like a horned owl.

"Ah crap, I'm already late. Akaashi is gonna kill me" he says as he rubs his head, still somehow unaware of your presence. You take the opportunity to quickly roll over onto your side and snap a picture of the disheveled student, before quickly rolling back onto your stomach and back to your ants.

"Hey, did you just take a picture of me?" You hear the boy ask causing your body to stiffen. Most people don't normally appreciate you taking pictures of them without their consent, they think it's weird and have a tendency to get angry. You wince as your gaze stays hyper fixated on the insects in front of you as you try to avoid eye contact with the boy.

"Uh, yes?" You answer.

"Oh, cool. Can I see?" He asks, his tone much more excited than you thought it'd be. You turn to look at him and are surprised to see him right next to you, lying in the exact same position that you are.

"Sure…" you answer, trepidatious of this new stranger. You fumble with your camera before showing him the screen.

"Hey hey hey. This is pretty good, sucks that I'm not even smiling or looking at the camera though." He says, a goofy grin on his face before he passes the camera back to you.

You shrug, "I think it looks better this way… looks more real."

"Hmmm… I guess your right." He says as he crosses his arms to rest his head on them. "It was a pretty good picture. Is that something you're into? Taking pictures?"

You find yourself a bit uncomfortable at how genuinely interested he sounds. People aren't usually this interested. "Yeah." You respond curtly.

"That's awesome. Oh, I'm Bokuto Koutarou, third year, captain of the volleyball club. Don't know but, you might've heard of me." He says with a proud, boisterous smile as he offers his hand for you to shake it.

You simply shake your head. You haven't. He seems to deflate a bit at that but brightens up a bit when you take his hand to shake it. "(L/N) (Y/N), second year. I guess you could call me the captain of the photography club but, we don't have one, so I mostly just hang around and bother the art club kids so I can use their dark room."

You fall back into silence as you once again begin watching the ants. Bokuto hums to himself as he turns to see what exactly you are watching so intently. The ants continue to attack the piece of candy with great fervor and even seemed to call in reinforcements. Hundreds, maybe even more surround the lollipop. It's odd, even though they're working together, it looks like utter chaos. You snap a picture.

"Wow! They're really going at it. Do ya think they'll be able to get it all?" He asks, sounding genuinely excited.

You let out a long hum, before finally nodding, "yeah. Eventually." Then the two of you go back to watching the ants.

"Why don't you just start a photography club? You seem pretty into it, I'm sure other people will join." He says earnestly with that same bright smile of his.

You cocked your head at him in confusion. Why was this guy so interested, and why was he just talking so casually with you? He didn't even know you. Honestly, sometimes people just confused you in general. They were unpredictable, and yes that could be a beautiful thing but, you preferred to enjoy that marvelous unpredictability from a distance. But you suppose that you can humor this Bokuto guy just this once, it's not like you'd have to interact with him after this. "I tried to start one during my first year but no one was really interested." You tell him with a lazy shrug of your shoulders.

"Bleh, that sucks. I think you should still try, if you ever nee-" Bokuto is cut off by the call of his own name, causing you both to look up towards the direction in which it was coming from.

"Bokuto-san!" You find yourself vaguely familiar with the owner of the voice. You recognize him as a boy from your class, but he seems to be dressed in some sort of sports gear. Didn't Bokuto say something about being captain of the volleyball club? Maybe they're on it together. As your classmate approaches the two of you, you notice him squint his eyes at the sight before him. "Bokuto-san, why are you lying on the ground in your school uniform?"

Self-consciously you shrink down a bit lower to the ground, your grip tightening on your camera. "Hey hey hey! Akaashi! Come meet my new friend!" The owl haired boy cheers.

The Akaashi boy spares you a glance before turning his glare back to Bokuto, "Bokuto-san, leave that poor girl alone and get to the clubroom and get changed. You're already late for practice."

Bokuto lets out a groan as he mopily picks himself up off the ground. He looks sort of sad. Actually, it looks like his mood took a whole 180 from his earlier excited disposition. Even his hair looks like it's sad. It's kinda cute to be honest.

You let out a sigh as you sit up. Deciding to be polite, you give the captain a small wave, "Bye, Bokuto. It was nice meeting you."

Hearing your words causes the boy to perk up instantly, "Oh? Oh, yeah! Nice meeting you! Later, (L/N)!" As the third year sets off, Akaashi glances back at you, looking you over. You respond with an apathetic gaze of your own, accompanied by a lazy peace sign. He responds with a small head nod of acknowledgment before turning to leave.

Finally alone, you let out a sigh of relief before you throw your body back onto the concrete underneath you. That was a deviant from the norm. What an odd guy that third year was. You close your eyes as you let the sun shine upon your cheeks, yawning as the warmth of the day envelopes you. Talking to strangers is sort of tiring. Maybe resting your eyes for a bit will be fine. 

\---

"(Y/N)-chan?... Um, (Y/N)-chan? I um, I think you should probably wake up now…", you wince as the sun peeks through your lashes and momentarily blinds you with it's searing light. You groan and sit up so you can glare at the person who woke you up. 

Ando Mei, a second year, class 3. You wouldn't say that you're friends. You make it a point not to have friends. She's more of a very close acquaintance. The two of you live close to each other so you wait until she's done with the art club to walk home with her. Only because you don't like walking alone.

"Why were you sleeping on the ground anyways." She asks as she helps pull you up and off the ground. You scrunch up your nose and flick an ant off your cheek. Gross. 

"Some third year stepped on me." You say simply as the two of you begin to walk towards the gates. The look she gives you is flabbergasted but you can tell she's debating on asking you to elaborate. "Anyways all that 'excitement' tired me out so I thought I'd take a nap."

"Oh, (Y/N). You know you are always welcome in the club room, even if it's just to take a nap."

You shrug, "it's whatever. I was already out here taking pictures."

She just smiles softly. "Okay." She grabs hold of your hand as the two of you reach the intersection, "You ready to go home?"

You give a small nod as you squeeze her hand, "sure."

Being home is nice. You'd prefer for your father to be home when you get there but that's always a fifty fifty chance of happening. You get it though, work is work. If you're ever too lonely, you just log online.

**Applepi : finally ur logged on.**

**Applepi : thought we were going to have to play without you.**

**Goodpic : srry ken-chan, I fell asleep.**

**Applepi : relatable.**

**Applepi : turn on ur mic if we're going to talk, I'm not typing the whole game.**

**Goodpic : kk.**

Applepi, or Ken-chan as you so adoringly refer to him as, is another acquaintance of yours. You two met in a discord of a streamer that you both liked and just kinda clicked. He's probably the only person, besides your dad, that you act this familiar with but, you attribute that to the fact that you two only interact through a screen.

"Alrighty you ready to lane Ken-chan?" You ask as you adjust your headset.

"You ready to stop asking dumb questions?" You can hear him give a dry chuckle as the two of you begin to play.

Ken-chan is good. He's a better gamer than you, that's for sure. You think that annoys him sometimes but he never says anything about it. Instead he praises you for your more interesting decisions you make while duo queuing. And if he wasn't as blunt as you, you'd be sure that he was just being polite.

"You're off today." You hear him say, "Usually you're much more energetic when we jungle. What's up?" 

"Ants." You say simply, biting your cheek.

"Ants?"

You let out a sigh, "I was photographing ants today and some jock tripped over me."

"Sounds fun." He responds dryly.

"I guess it was sorta interesting. He actually ended up lying on the ground with me as we watched the ants."

You hear him laugh to himself, "really? Heh, must be your soulmate."

His words cause you to let out a snort as you try to suppress your laughter, "that's funny Ken-chan. But, doubtful."

"I don't know tsuntsun, you already said that ant boy fell for you." You can practically hear his cheeky grin through his mic.

"Bleh!" You spat as you stick out your tongue. "Oh please, you already know that only humans are capable of such fickle emotions like affection. Besides, you're the only boy for me Ken-chan." You say putting on a sickening sweet voice.

"Gross."

He's right about one thing though. You are off. Ant boy- you mean Bokuto, really threw you for a loop. You weren't anticipating the interaction. It was odd, he was… no, the interaction was a fluke and nothing to worry about. It's not like you ever have to see him again.


	2. Lunch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY! HEY! HEY! Here's a second chapter for you! Have fun!

"Akaaaaaaashiiiii!"

You freeze like a deer in the headlights. You almost drop your camera by the pure shock of hearing his voice. Why did this Akaashi guy have to be in the same class as you? Better question, why did this owl haired bozo have to burst into your classroom yelling like a maniac?

Lunch had just begun a couple of minutes ago, how did this guy make it all the way from the third year wing to the second year's already? You try to descreetly sneak a glance at your dark haired classmate who seems to be even more tired of his senpai's shit. But he says nothing to elude to that idea. Instead he simply responds, "Bokuto-san."

"Akaashi, come on! Come set for me, Akaashi!" Bokuto says as he bounces over to Akaashi's desk. You shrink down a bit in your chair, hoping that they would just hurry up and leave already so you can eat your convenience store bento in peace. 

"Oya?" Sadly, peace was never an option. "Picture girl? Is that you?" The horned owl haired boy asks tilting his head and making a bee line for your desk. "I didn't know you were in Akaashi's class. Awesome seeing you again."

"Yup… real sarendipitous." You sigh in defeat.

"Huh? Oh. Oh, yeah. Real sarendipitous!" He says to you before quickly turning to Akaashi to shoot him a thumbs up.

Impatiently you begin to fiddle with the buttons on your camera. Maybe if you don't say anything, he'll just go away. Bokuto however seems to once again defy your expectations. He sits down in the empty seat next to yours and scoots the whole desk closer to yours as he begins to chatter again, "Picture girl-"

"(L/N) (Y/N)" you remind him curtly

"Right, (L/N)," he nods as if rattling the marbles around in that empty head of his will help him remember. You rest your head on hour hand as you look your upperclassmen over. You can't believe a guy like this is your senpai. You can't believe somebody Akaashi would put up with him. Your classmate seems like a reasonable guy, how does he know this goofball? Have they been long time friends? Or just met in a club in highschool? Or did Bokuto also accidentally bump into Akaashi one day, and decide to hang around? Does Bokuto burst into this classroom often at lunch time, looking for his friend? How have you not noticed this boisterous bafoon before? You know that you're not the most perceptive person in the world but are you that oblivious? Ken-chan would've noticed. He's super perceptive, always noticing little details, you'd bet he'd make a great photographer. 

"So what do you say (L/N)!?" Bokuto asks excitedly.

What do you say to what? Oh crap, you totally zoned out. You didn't hear a word he said. Crap. Crap! Quick, play it off. Be cool, "Uh- um, what?". Real smooth.

"Bokuto-san, you're overwhelming her. Let's go, you said you wanted to spike some sets, right?" Akaashi says walking up to beside Bokuto, coming to your rescue.

"Aw, but I wanted (L/N) to take more pictures of me." Your senpai pouts as his shoulders fall.

"You did?" Didn't you already tell this guy that you are not some second rate, sit still, say cheese, and smile for the camera, portraiture photographer. What you do is totally different. It's art. "Bokuto I already told you I don't-"

"I remember. It just sucks that the only picture of me you got is when I'm looking away. Like you can barely see my face. It sucks."

What did he just say!? "It doesn't suck!" You protest as you start fidgeting with your camera, pulling up the picture. "Look! See here. The afternoon sun makes for a perfect light source, you can't fake that. And the composition of the piece as a whole is great, from the appearance of actual weight and stress being put on your forearm as you try to pick yourself up. And see as you rub your head and look like your saying something. But, oooh? What is it? We don't know. It just adds to the emotion of confusion that the photo just radiates. It's great." And you would know, you did take it after all.

The two boys in front of you just blink once your rant is finished. They seem a bit stunned but Bokuto recovers as he offers you a small smile, "you're right. It is. It'd still be pretty cool if you wanted to take more though. I just- Ooh! I got an idea why don't you get me while I'm spiking. It'd be like an action shot."

"Action shot?" You parrot, releasing the tension in your shoulders. The idea didn't actually sound horrible.

Akaashi rolls his eyes as he addresses his upperclassmen once more, "Bokuto-san I already told you, (L/N)-san d-"

"Sure, let's go." You say cutting him off. You adjust your camera strap around your neck as you rise from your seat and make your way to the door. "Well, are you coming?"

\---

"I've never been to the gym before." You say as the two boys lead you inside.

"What!? Like ever? Not even for P.E.?" You're unsure if Bokuto sounds surprised or appalled.

"I don't do P.E., not since like middle school. I got a really good doctors note. My dad knows a guy." You tell him snickering under your breath. Bokuto continues to gask so you just shrug. You don't know what he expected. You don't do the whole sports thing. Ew, just thinking about the word sends shivers down your spine. Like for instance you have no idea what a spike is but from the sound of it, you are sure that it would break your bones.

"Okay so we gonna do this or what?" You ask impatiently. Bokuto nods eagerly and looks to Akaashi to grab a volleyball from the equipment room. With a quick glance at his watch and silently muttering under his breath, Akkashi does just that.

Whilst his friend is searching for a ball, the upperclassmen with the frosted tips slides in right up next to you. "So, (Y/N)?" You flinch slightly at the sudden use of your first name. You shoot a glare his way but he doesn't seem to notice as he begins to point his two pointer fingers towards each other, twiddling them in what you can assume is some show of shyness or possibly embarrassment. When he looks up at you with die eyes you nearly choke to death on your own oxygen. "Do you think um maybe I can get a copy of the picture? To keep, pretty please?" 

It's a simple request, but you are so taken aback by his behavior that you nearly fumble over your words, "Um, sure. Yeah. I mean I usually develop my film on Fridays in the dark room. If you'd like I can give them to you then un-unless you um- you would rather wait till Monday." You can't look him in eye. Those bright amber orbs are just too much, it's like looking direct at the sun. What does your senpai think he's trying to do to you?

"I got the ball." The sound of Akaashi's voice causes you to jump back, allowing you to realize just how close Bokuto had gotten to you when he was giving you that pleading look of his. Your classmate sends you a questioning look but doesn't say a word.

"Yes!" Bokuto shouts, pumping a fist in the air before shedding his uniform jacket and rushing towards the net, "You're gonna love this (Y/N)! Just watch!"

"Okay. Okay. Just let me find a good angle. You say as you start to climb on some bleachers on squat down to begin focusing your camera. Once comfortable, you shoot a thumbs up towards the boys and they get into their own positions. You have to be honest. You know nothing about volleyball. You have no idea what setting or a spike is, so you don't really know what to expect here. But Bokuto promised action so you plan to capture some until lunch is over. 

You vaugely remember going to a baseball game when you were young. You're father was hired to take some shots of the team for a charity calendar they were doing, or something like that, and he had decided to bring you along. You had little interest in sports, still don't for that matter but, you do remember him telling you that your mother had played baseball when she was younger. And well, you liked that.

As your mind sways from one disconnected thought to another, your eyes lock onto the ball being sent into the air by the dark haired second year. This was it, you needed to be ready to take the shot fast. All the random thoughts that occupy your mind, along with the chaotic world around you fades. Your vision narrows and becomes what is confined to what your view finder allows. There is only you and the image that you are about to capture. You see Bokuto's feet leap off of the ground and you can feel your finger begin to press down on the shutter button and-

"(Y/N)-chan!"

And you fall off the bleacher that you were perched precariously on.

"(L/N)-san! Are you okay?" Akaashi rushes up to you as you lie on the floor of the gymnasium.

"Aaaahh! (Y/N)! What happened!? Akaashi, is she okay!?" Bokuto asks like you had lost a limb, tears welling up in his eyes.

You merely rub your head which you had bumped on the way down as fury fills your eyes. "Ando!" You bark at your aquaintance standing in the doorway of the gym, who had just caused you to fall down by shouting your name.

"Oh my goodness! I am so so sorry, (Y/N)-chan, I didn't mean to scare you, I've been looking for you everywhere and then I saw you in here and I-"

"Ando, you little cretin! You ruined my shot!"you you screech

"You just fell of the fourth row of bleachers and that's what you're mad about?" Akaashi quirks an eyebrow at you.

You turn your glare to him and are fully prepared to start ranting to him for disrespect for the art form when Bokuto panickedly asks, "wait! Does that mean you didn't see my spike?" When you shake your head, he looks as dejected as you feel about missing your shot.

Ando rushes to your side and helps you off the ground, "I'm so, so sorry I-" she stops short when her eyes catch sight of Bokuto, "I- I- I- You- You're-"

"Use your words Ando," you tell her

"You're our senpai!" She finally spits out before bowing her head. You internally groan. That's the thing about Ando, she's way to polite and cares way to much about the dumb heirarchy system that schools have. She's always letting her senpai's in the art club walk all over her, it would be pathetic if those pompous, self-centered, jerks didn't infuriate you so much. "Please forgive us senpai. My friend and I didn't mean to bother you or anything." Friend? Really? "I'm sorry if she came in here and bugged you into taking pictures or said anything mean. I know she can seem rude sometimes but I swear she's actually really sweet."

You can't help but snort at that last bit, "Friend? Sweet? Woah, never took you for a liar. I don't think there are many people who would call me sweet." You say smirking

Ando puffs out her cheeks and pouts before letting out a sigh, "(Y/N)-chan, please just apologize for badgering our upperclassmen…"

"But I didn't do anything wrong this time."

"(Y/N)-chan" she squeaks out as a warning

Pfft. _Whatever mom_. "... Sorry Bokuto, Akaa-" she cuts you off with an elbow to the side and a look. You start over, "Please forgive me Bokuto- _senpai_ , Akaashi- _san_."

"Oh, it's okay really. She wasn't bothering us. I actually asked her to come take pictures." Bokuto tells her.

"You did?"

"I know, wild right?" You say dryly.

"Oh… then I'm deeply sorry for assuming." She says bowing her head once more

"Hey hey, it's cool really." Bokuto tells her a bit uncomfortably.

"Why were you looking for me anyway, Ando?" You ask her

"Oh um well, this morning you said you'd come to the art club's lunch meeting today… I thought that you may have, um gotten lost again."

"Oh I forgot, sorry- Hey! I don't get lost that often." You say in defense

"You kinda do…"

Before you can say anything else in your own defense, the bell that signifies the end of lunch rings. 

You three second years begin to leave when you suddenly hear Bokuto calling after you, "Wait up, (Y/N)-chan." Oh, so it's (Y/N)-chan now? Getting a little comfortable there, aren't ya senpai? "Er, I was thinking since you didn't get to see me spike, maybe you can come to practice one day. If you wanna. Do you wanna? It'll be fun, I swear!" 

That's the thing about Bokuto that you've learned after the short time you have been aquainted with him. He's excitable, he wears his emotions on his sleeve and seems to love attention and praise. He's a nice guy though, and you've found that even though his sad hair that defys reality kinda cute in an endearing sort of way, you don't think saddness fits him. So you shrug and say, "Sure. I'll think about it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I'm still new at writing for haikyuu but I really do enjoy writing this story so far, 
> 
> If you'd like come join my Discord, it's p wholesome just a bunch of cool friendly people  
> https://discord.gg/8XjKn5m


	3. Spike

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does anyone else remember the first time seeing a spike in the show. It was an awe inducing experience or me I was like omg this show is cool and I want these boys to win ❤️

Akaashi knows that Bokuto can be intense. He's seen it on and off the court. It's just how the third year is, he feels every emotion he has so deeply, and though that can lead to such feelings becoming a hindrance when playing sometimes, he's still a good captain, and a good guy. Akaashi only worries whether or not you can see that.

It's been two weeks since you had first met Bokuto Koutarou, and since then the third year has taken every opportunity that he had when seeing you to invite you to watch him practice and take pictures. Whether he'd spot you somewhere around campus, lying down or balancing precariously on a bench to take a snapshot of whatever caught your eye, or during lunch when Bokuto would burst into Akaashi's classroom, he'd always said something along the lines of, 

"Oya! (Y/N)-chan! You should come watch me practice after school today!"

You never outright denied him but you never came either. And that alone has begun to make the owl haired boy start to not try as hard during practices. Akaashi knew that if this kept up, it could do some serious harm to the volleyball club's season.

So Akaashi begrudgingly took things into his own hands. When the school day was over, he stood up from his desk and walked straight over to yours, where you were packing up.

"Come on, let's go." Akaashi says to you, causing you to look up at him with a blank expression, blinking.

Still keeping your face neutral you nod at your classmate and say, "Oh. So I see that you have finally decided to murder me. A bold decision but understandable. Please Akaashi-san, allow me to write up a quick will first, I have to let the world know who gets my cameras and my PC."

"I'm not killing you, you're just coming to Volleyball practice. You promised Bokuto-san." He says eyeing you over. He knows that you and he have been in the same class since first year but you've never stood out. You never had a bunch of friends surrounding your desk at lunchtime like most girls do. You never try to answer questions in class unless the teacher calls on you, which is odd because you seem to always have the answer. All he's ever known you to do is keep to yourself and have that camera of yours glued to your fingertips. So he still doesn't understand why Bokuto has such an odd fixation on you right now. But alas, it's Bokuto, and Akaashi doesn't even know how the third year became so fixated on him, though he suspects it has something to do with him being a setter and able to deal with his impossible mood swings.

"To be honest I kinda forgot about that whole promise thing." You say as you trail behind him towards the gym.

"How? Bokuto-san reminds you practically everyday, doesn't he?"

You force a weak smile, "I don't know… I just get distracted easily. And I well… don't really remember how to get to the gym…" Akaashi raises a brow. Odd, he pegged you as a good student and quick witted, turns out that under closer observation, you're sorta clueless. 

-

His teammates let out exasperated sighs as Bokuto trudges his way across the court. It seems that he had fallen into one of his emo moods today. He keeps whimpering like a kicked puppy as he longingly stares at the doorway to the gym.

Did Bokuto say something wrong? He knows that sometimes he says things that annoy people on accident. Did he offend you or something? Is that why you haven't come to watch him spike? You promised that you would take pictures of him playing, you weren't lying, were you?

"Uh, Bokuto? Are you doing okay?" The short haired manager asked as she looked around for Akaashi, he'd normally be here by now and always knew how to deal with a moody Bokuto the best

" Oh Yukippe, (Y/N)-chan still hasn't come to watch me practice. What if she doesn't think I'm cool enough to take pictures of?" The third year whined.

Yukie nervously glanced towards the doorway once more, wondering where in the hell Akaashi was. She bites her lip and pats Bokuto on the shoulder, "Oh I'm sure she doesn't think that at all… um, by the way who's (Y/N)-chan?" That was apparently the wrong question because the owl haired boy groaned as he wandered off to nope in the corner.

"She's some second year that Bokuto met a while back. Guess she's into photography and Bokutos got it into his head that he'd be a great muse." Konoha informs her. The manager nods, that made sense, it wasn't that Bokuto was vain per say but he did love attention and praise.

"Bokuto-san's weakness number six, He loves to show off." Akaashi says as he makes his way into the gym, you in tow.

"I should've been able to guess that one." You remark

At the sound of yours and Akaashi's voices, Bokuto perks up in the corner of the gym. Akaashi watches this and how the older boy curiously turns around as he starts to break out of his emo mood. The second year takes the opportunity to introduce you to the rest of the club, "This is my classmate, (L/N) (Y/N). She will be watching our practice for today."

"Sup." You say disinterestedly as you throw up a weak peace sign.

Some of the other club members start to approach you, trying to introduce themselves to you but Bokuto hurries past them in a flash. He's jumping up and down in front of you, talking animatedly as he does so, "(Y/N)-chan! You're here! I knew you'd come! You're here to watch me play, right!? Right!?"

"I mean you did invite me here, didn't you Bokuto-senpai?" You tell him as you bite your cheek to suppress a laugh from escaping.

"Yeah, totally! It's just that it's so  _ serendipitous  _ to see ya here." He says before turning to Akaashi, "Did I use that word right Akaashi?"

You smirk, this boy was unreal, "It's not all that serendipitous, your friend did drag me here after all so I'm pretty sure you could say I'm here under coercion." 

"Bokuto-san, your friend is here to watch you play. Are you ready to go?" Akaashi says as he makes his way towards the net. Bokuto nods as he bounces up and down, following the second year. The two manager's give a grateful smile to the second year for pulling through once more and getting Bokuto to cooperate.

"Come sit with us, we're just taking notes on the practice anyways." A girl with short reddish brown hair says taking your hand and leading you to the bleachers. "I'm Shirofuku Yukie, but you can call me Yukie if you want. This is Kaori."

The girl next to her smiles and gives you a small wave, "Nice to meet you, I'm Suzumeda Kaori, and we're the managers for the volleyball club." Kaori has tan-colored hair that's tied up into a ponytail, grey-blue eyes, and freckles located on her cheeks and the bridge of her nose. She also seems to be a bit taller than Yukie.

"Nice to meet you, I'm (L/N) (Y/N)." You say as you fidget with your camera, not looking either girl in the eye.

"So (L/N), you're Bokuto's friend, right? How'd you two meet?" Kaori asks once the three of you are seated on the bleachers. Your eyes scan the court as mind tries to calculate the best viewpoint of the action.

"Friend is a strong word." You say apathetically, "and he just tripped over me a couple of weeks ago so I took a picture of him."

"That's a meet-cute if I've ever heard one." Yukie comments, her smile almost critter-like. You furrow your brows at the comment but decide not to say anything to humor her.

"Do you mind if I move around, I need to get a good angle." You say to the girls already getting up to move. Hopefully you don't fall off the bleachers this time.

The boys seem to be playing three on three. Akaashi and Bokuto near the same positions they were last time you came to watch. Through your viewfinder you zero in on the ball's location, you follow it with your camera, deciding that any action that you'll be seeing today, will pertain to the whereabouts of the ball. And it does. You watch as a boy sends the ball into play from all the way at the end of the court, it's a wonder that it makes it so far. But, just as it looks like it may hit the ground, a player slides towards it, hitting the ball with his forearms and back into the air.

_ Snap. _

You watch as this continues on, finding the chore to be like an intense game of keepy uppy. You continue snapping pictures of the feat.

_ Snap. _

_ Snap. _

_ Snap. _

_ Snap. Snap. _

You watch as the ball is sent to Akaashi and see him push the ball into the air just as he did before on that one day.

_ Snap. _

The ball soars in the air and as much as your logical mind tells you to continue following it in order to receive the best image. Your body turns toward Bokuto, almost involuntarily, as if it knows that whatever happens next is up to Bokuto. 

You watch as he rides towards the net, his feet pounding against the gym floor before kicking off and leaping off the ground his legs bent at the knee as he begins to ascend. Your breath catches. In that moment his arm rears back as the other is held straight forward, slicing the air in front of him. 

_ Snap. _

Focus. Focus on the shot, you're a professional. As Bokuto seemingly flys through the air, the ball makes its way back into your viewfinder and you watch as Bokuto's arm releases and goes slamming into the ball.

_ Snap. _

Your breathing hitches in that moment and you nearly don't catch the picture but, you do. And you watch as the ball is slammed back into the other side of the court. No one is there to keep it from hitting the ground and a part of you is grateful because as you watch it make contact with the floor, you are left wondering how it did not leave a crater.

You lower your camera from your face. What just happened? Why is your heart beating so much? What was that? Why was that the freaking coolest thing you've ever seen!?

"Did you see that!? Did you see it, (Y/N)-chan!?" Bokuto shouts as he runs from the court and over to you.

You brush a stray hair out of your face and nod, your face is red and for some reason your throat is tight. "I- I did. What was that?" You manage out.

"Oh that, that was a spike. Cool, right?" Unbridled joy mixed with pride lights up Bokuto's face like a spotlight, it's infectious. You never understood the want to watch someone else play a sport and clap along for their accomplishments, it seemed pointless and boring. But, Bokuto in all his energetic pride, he was just the sorta guy who could get anybody to cheer for him. Was this how the crowd felt during games, the irresistible urge to root for this man?

"Y-Yeah! That was awesome!" The words just spill out of your mouth uncontrollably. You feel the corners of your lips start to pull as you stand there beaming.

"Really?" For a second he looks taken aback but recovers as his face settles back into a wide grin.

"Really! You were like flying and then when you hit the ball, I was like 'woah!' I thought it was going to explode." 

Bokuto lets out a laugh as you speak, "that's just the job of the Ace." You don't mean to but in all your excitement, you're really stroking his ego.

"What's an ace?" You ask full of wonder.

"I am! The Ace is like a wing spiker, deals out real powerful spikes. You're actually looking at one of the top five Aces in the country."

"Top five, really? That's actually pretty cool, Bokuto Senpai!"

This is so bizarre. You were smiling and talking so animatedly and you weren't even talking to your father or playing video games with Ken-chan. It was like something overtook you, you don't know if it was the wonder of seeing such a powerful feat or Bokuto's infectious personality but, you were excited. And that excitement was clear as day on your face and sealed with a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thankyou all for reading and the nice comments, I really enjoy writing this fic
> 
> If you want to join my Discord, the people are really nice and we all love just talking about anime and sharing artwork and fic ideas, drop by if you want   
> https://discord.gg/8XjKn5m


	4. Cat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So personally Im an angst writer at heart so we were kinda doomed to have a reader who's workin through some shit. Lol sorry, turns out this fic won't be 100% fluff. But worry not, i still got that good fluff for you in here somewhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is so long, i didnt want to break it in two

The dim red light of the room envelopes you and just about everything else in the dark room as you use the print tongs to move the picture from one tray to another as you develop the image. The chemicals flow around the print as you gently agitate it, burning and dodging in order to perfect the image.

"Even though all you do is work in the darkroom, I have to admit, I kinda understand why you find it so relaxing in here." Ando says as she sits on a stool, watching you work.

"It's the light." You say, not taking your eyes of your work. "Red light helps you relax. Unlike blue light, red light doesn't act as a stimulant. Its low color temperature has a soothing effect on the body, and it's the most conducive wavelength of light for a good night's sleep."

"Wow. You know sometimes I forget how smart you are (Y/N)-chan. I never even knew that light could even make you feel things." You let out an uninterested hum in response. "You know I'm still so impressed that you managed to get the volleyball team to let you take pictures of their practice."

You hum again, this time a bit annoyed. You understood that not everyone was okay with you taking pictures of them when they weren't aware. And you know that Ando has had to bail you out more times than you could count after you'd been caught snapping photos. But, you didn't know why or how you've acquired the reputation of weird camera girl who people must automatically refuse to let take pictures of them. It's not even that weird. It's just art, no need to make it weird, guys. Sheesh.

"I have to admit though, the camera loves Bokuto-senpai. He has a great physique, do you think he'd pose for my figure drawing class? But seriously, don't you think he's kind of handsome?" She asks, letting out a soft laugh, only half joking as she examines one of your photos. you stop for a moment to turn towards your fellow second year. Despite what she might say if you asked her, Ando was a very talented portraiture and took three of the five figure drawing classes offered here in tokyo. She was too shy to go to the other two because she didn't want to see the nude models. Even so there was no denying her love for attractive people, though you never saw her romantically involved with anyone.

You eye her for a moment closely before your eyes dart back to your work, "... I guess he is. Bokuto-senpai seems like a real ham, honestly. He'd probably jump at the chance if you told him he'd be the center of attention." You tell her. Bokuto definitely thrived off of the spotlight, much like a plant to sunlight, he thrived off of it. But you had actually seen him in action, and if you were honest all that attention was well deserved, he was really good at what he did and worked hard for it.

"Oooh? Who's that?" Ando asks as you hang up a print to dry. 

"Huh? You mean Bokuto-senpai? You've met before. We were just talking about him, pay attention Ando" You say furrowing your brows.

"No. No, not him. The other one in the background. The one with the dirty-blonde hair." You look from the picture to Ando, giving her a questioning look, then back to the image.

"That's... Konaho. Wait, no… Konoha, yeah that sounds right. He's a spiker like Bokuto-senpai, I think they called him a jack of all trades because he's kinda good at whatever position." You say relaying the information you could remember to the girl.

You could hardly tell in the red lit room but the girl's cheeks tint pink. You only know this because she's biting her bottom lip, a nasty habit that you've learned that the girl does to distract herself from how warm her face has gotten. "He's sorta cute." She admits aloud, nearly causing you to do a double take. You don't know why but for some reason you let out a sigh of relief. "I haven't seen him around, what class is he in."

"I don't know. Think he's a third year though." You say carefully watching your acquaintance.

She immediately deflates at your words, letting out a soft "oh." Your face immediately twists into an expression of annoyed confusion.

"Really? Just because he's a third year, you're going to just give up? What the heck? You said you thought this guy was cute. I seriously don't understand why you let the grade hierarchy thing rule your life. Who gives a shit if someone is your upperclassmen. Be rude to them, date them, fuck they're only a year older than you." You word vomit in a small fit of rage before quietly and calmly composing yourself and turning back to your work. You didn't want to yell at Ando. Sometimes everything you brush off just builds up until your emotions just eventually all come tumbling out of the closet. You know it's not the healthiest way of doing things but, you've never been great at expressing how you feel anyways.

Ando is quiet for a bit before finally speaking once more. "Why do you call Bokuto-senpai, senpai?" The question causes you to freeze in place. The one thing you weren't expecting was for her to turn this on you. "I mean, you said that you don't care for the grade hierarchy system and yet you insist on referring to him as Bokuto-senpai."

"I- I uh- You were the one who got me to call him that in the first place. You know me, I've just been too lazy to correct myself now. Besides… it's best that I keep boundaries between me and the subjects of my pieces. Our relationship is purely professional"

You don't need to turn around to see the pitiful look that Ando is giving you. You don't know why she does though. This is your choice. You're the one who doesn't want any friends. You made the choice to be on the outside looking in, and you're perfectly content with that decision. The glass wall that separates you from others is nice, its thick and bullet proof, its tall and insurmountable, you keep it clean and it allows you to observe without ever getting hurt. What you don't like is when someone insists on tapping the glass.

"What about us?" She asks, tapping the glass. You hated it when she did this. Mostly because it tore you up inside and left you feeling like crap. Having to explain to her that the two of you weren't friends and likely would never be after all she has done to help you, made nobody happy. And yet she would continue to linger around the glass wall, walking you to and from school, talking to you when no one else would.

"Uh… Ando? Would it make you happy if I called you Mei?" Tapping back was never your intention but, oftentimes zoo patrons find themselves disappointed if all the tiger does all day is hide away in its cave and sleep. Besides, the smile she gives you is enough for your worries to be put to rest. At least for a little while.

"That would be very nice (Y/N)-chan. " she says excitedly.

You let out a small hum in acknowledgment as you start to gather your pictures up. "Kay, now help me gather up these prints and let's go home."

She happily obliges and you let out a sigh of relief.

  
  


\--

  
  


"(Y/N)-chan! Hey! Wait up."

You tense at the sound of his voice. The boy is inescapable at this point. He's practically the definition of  _ if you give a mouse a cookie _ . All you did was show up to his practice to take pictures  _ one _ time and he's been pestering you ever since. Not to be misunderstood, ever since you met the boy Bokuto has taken every chance he had to greet you and invite you to take pictures but, more recently he has been much more  _ friendly. _

Offering you to eat with him and Akaashi. Insisting that you needed to eat more. Trying to rope you into his own conversations. Stopping you in the middle of the hallway, hands up, and not moving until you had high fived him.

You have to admit the first time he had done so you were beyond confused. He just stood there blocking your way. But the longer the owl haired boy stood there with his hands up made you more and more unconformable so you had hesitantly raised your hands up in a similar position as his. Probably realizing that was all he was going to get out of you, Bokuto brought the palms of his own hands forward to tap yours. "High five." He gleefully told you before leaving you to go to class while you stood there confused in the hallway.

You and Mei stop to turn to the boy who is followed by several others of the volleyball club. The owl with the frosted tips runs up in front of you both of his hands raised and waiting patiently. You nervously glance over towards Mei to try to read her reaction to the third year's antics. But one look at her and you can tell that she is thoroughly distracted by a certain dirty blonde haired player. You sigh to yourself and raise up your own hands before jumping slightly to meet his. In a poor imitation of unison you both say, "high five." 

"(L/N)-san, you're here awfully late. Isn't the art club usually finished with their meetings earlier?" Akaashi says as he greets you.

"Yeah. They finished a couple of hours ago." You reply simply as your fingers find their way to the buttons of your camera . you fidget with them as you uncomfortably look to Mei to save you and say that it was time to go home but it seems like she's still distracted.

"What!? You should have stopped by the gym and watched practice! Your friend could come too." The owl screeches. At the mention of her presence, Mei snaps back to attention. You roll your eyes at her.

"No. It's okay, I had to develop these pictures anyway." You say grabbing a folder out of your bag. Out of the folder you pull out an envelope and hand it to Bokuto. "Here, you um, you said you wanted some copies of your own."

"Oya? Let me see. Akaaaashi, come look! I look damn fine." Bokuto boasts unironically as he shows off the photos to his teammates.

A short boy, you think his name is Komi or something like that, stands on his tippy toes to peer over Bokuto's arm to look at the prints, "wow! These actually turned out really good. Like they look professional and everything."

"Of course they do. I took them." You say, not so much in defense as your voice is so even that it just comes off as a statement of fact.

"(Y/N)-chan" Mei says her tone lightly scolding you, "don't you think you should thank Bokuto-senpai?"

You shoot her a glare, "seriously? He asked me t-"

"(Y/N)-chan."

You groan and toss your head back dramatically as if in pain before turning to the third year, "thankyou Bokuto-senpai…"

"Good. Now tell him you think he's handsome."

"Mei!?" You gasp. You finally understand that meme of top ten anime betrayals.. You feel your face heat up as your eyes dart from Mei to the volleyball club. Bokuto's amber eyes are blown wide, and you feel yourself grow even warmer under his gaze.

"What? You said so earlier, didn't you?" She says in faux confusion.

"I wasn't sayin-"

That's when Bokuto starts jumping. The energetic ace moving about animatedly as he starts to ramble, "Wait! You really think I'm handsome!? Like for real, for real? Because I think you are too! I mean pretty! Like really pretty. I-"

Your hand flies up to cover his mouth as you shoot him a glare. "Shut up Bokuto-senpai. Remember, if I ever compliment you it's strictly from an objective point of view." You slowly remove your hands from his face as you continue, luckily he's finally calmed down a bit and your face doesn't feel like the inside of a toaster oven, "And, um- So, don't feel the need to return the compliment… okay?"

Mei pouts as she lets out a dramatic groan, "(Y/N)-chan. Come on, I don't think-" she stops short as you turn to give her a death glare. Even the club members around you can feel the chill run down their own spines. You can even hear one, you it may be the Saruki one, whisper,

"Damn. Little (L/N)-san is kinda scary."

You internally grin at that comment but, you are unsure about how that twisted smile translated out onto your cold exterior as you planned your revenge on your so called closest acquaintance.

Mei lets out a weak laugh as she shakily watches your movements, "(Y/N)-chan?"

You say nothing before swiftly turning back to the group of boys and plucking the dirty blond from the bunch. Your grip on his shirt is tight as you pull him and push him towards Mei. 

"Konoha blah blah blah, meet Ando Mei. Ando Mei meet Konoha blah bleh- I don't really care." You say before stalking away and leaving the group but, still walking slow enough to hear whatever the two have to say to each other.

You can hear the nervousness in her voice. All the confidence she had whilst teasing you is gone. "I- I- I apologize for my friend, she is a bit different but still very nice, p- please don't let these few actions tarnish your view of her, Senpais." You internally groan, is she really defending you? This is revenge, yeesh Mei, way to make it fun.

"Oh, well I'm Konoha Akinori. It's cool meeting you I uh- I guess…" you hear the third year stutter out and a few of his friends instantly start snickering. 

"Ando Mei. Nice meeting you as well Konoha-senpai."

"Just Konoha is fine"

Oh ho ho? What is this? Has your plan of revenge blossomed into something more? Perhaps into one of those plots of those romantic comedy animes you've seen before. Mei is cute and sweet, perfect protagonist material. And you don't know anything about Konoha so he's basically the typical no personality love interest already. 

You laugh to yourself, thinking about Mei and her new shoujo anime life. You wonder if she'll get a cute harem of boys that vaguely like her and will challenge Konoha for her love. Bokuto would make great comedy relief, he's probably the funny, hot, side character already. Akaashi seems like the cool, quiet, smart type. What does that make you? The bitchy, tsundere best friend that pushes the protagonist to go after the guy?  _ Not that you're her friend or anything. _

"Oh!? Sure. I'd love to." You hear Mei say and you realize that you totally zoned out there for a bit. "But, I don't know if now's a good time, I need to walk (Y/N)-chan home."

You stop walking and turn back towards the group, giving a lazy shrug, "Don't worry about me. Go have fun. I'll be fine.", You lie as you instinctively touch your camera for comfort. 

Mei eyes you for a bit before shaking her head, immediately seeing through your chill facade. " No. No it's fine. Really, we can walk home."

You furrow your brows. The protagonist needs one more push. You need her to take a step away from your glass wall, live out her story, but how can you give her that push? How can you when the glass still separates you?

"Me and Akaashi can walk (Y/N)-chan home." Bokuto suggests. It seems your plan for revenge had backfired, there was something you had not accounted for. It was Bokuto and his need to not only tap on the glass but bang on it. "You two lovebirds enjoy your date."

"Oh- okay. Thank You, Bokuto-senpai. And if anything happens she has my contact in her phone as well as her address in her map app-"

"Thankyou Ando-san. We got it from here." Akaashi told her as he tried to ease her worries as Bokuto stood there dumbfounded as he was unable to remember any of the information she had given him to look after you. You just stood there arms crossed, angry about being treated like a child.

It wasn't until you all parted ways and you, Akaashi, and Bokuto had made it to the crosswalk that you realized that this was a bad idea. Up until then you prided yourself for the two foot gap that you put between you and the boys. You hadn't been caught dragging your feet yet, as Bokuto was engulfed in a mostly one sided conversation with the second year setter. Akaashi and Bokuto unknowingly start to walk as they cross the street but you in a panic grab Bokuto's arm and pull him back to the sidewalk.

"Are you crazy!? You didn't even look both ways before crossing the street you big Dummy!" You yell at him as your hands are still clutching his arm.

"What's wrong? There's like no cars around. Come On (Y/N)-chan, Akaashi is already on the other side of the street." Bokuto says, pointing to the dark haired boy who is indeed waiting for the two of you across the road as he talks on his cellphone.

You stare at the street before you and then back up at Bokuto whose expression is writhe with confusion. You sigh, "Mei usually lets me hold her hand when we cross the street. Can I hold on to your shirt?"

"You can hold my hand!" The older boy says grabbing your hands in his own. That wide grin of his is spread across his face like butter on toast. The expression of one holding stars in their eyes had alway seemed hyperbolic and dumb. But Bokuto's golden orbs really do seem to shine. The sight makes your stomach do backflips.

"Uh… okay. But only when we cross the street." You say trying to put up some boundaries.

Bokuto happily agrees as he interlocks his fingers with yours. His hands are far larger than your own and you think they'd be soft if not for the small calluses in his hands, most likely from spiking. They're warm though, but it's already late spring and getting warmer so the warmth of his hands only assist in making you and your face feel even hotter than before. You try to focus on the road ahead of you, looking both ways as you cross the street, your eyes darting back and forth anxiously before you finally reach the other side of the street. You breathe a small breath of relief as you free your hand from your senpais and silently praise yourself for crushing that crosswalk.

You did catch Akaashi staring at the two of you when you finally caught up with him. If he had any thoughts about the sight of you holding his friends hand, he kept it to himself as he hung up his phone and turned to Bokuto.

"Bokuto-san, that was my mother. I have to head home right now."

"Aww, but we were all going to get BBQ."

"Bokuto-senpai, you were supposed to be taking me home not taking us to get food." You scold him

"Oh come on (Y/N)-chan, you need to eat more. All you eat is those convenience store bentos and then you end up throwing half of it away." He laughs as you let out an offended gasp, surprised that you had been found out and that he had been watching so closely in the first place.

"Th- Th-they're cheap. And they don't taste bad, I just don't like the vegetables."you stutter out. This causes him to laugh at you more.

"(L/N)-san, Bokuto-san has my number in his phone, if he anything happens or he becomes uncooperative live just call me, okay." Akaashi tells you, which you respond with an eye roll and mutter a 'whatever dad'. He's taken aback slightly but says nothing before he bids you and your senpai a farewell.

You are pretty quiet for the most part as the two of continue to walk down the street, only humming in response occasionally as he continues to insist on eating barbeque. When you near a second crosswalk, Bokuto holds out his hand in front of you before you could even falter at the sight of the road in front of you. But the action itself causes you to falter. "You know, there are gonna be a lot of crosswalks coming up. You can keep holding my hand if you wanna."

You stare at his hand. Its different than when Mei offers you her hand, not to be misconstrued, there's still that kindness in the gesture, a smile meant to comfort, but one look at Bokuto's face and you just know that it's not the same. His cheeks are dusted a light shade of pink and that friendly smile cracks every so often to expose a hint of nervousness. Even so, you take his hand. And marvel once more at the feeling of his rough palms against your own. "It's not because I want to, just so you know. It's because it'll be less work. That's all" is what you tell him, looking away as heat rises to your cheeks.

"Sure. Sure." He answers back happily "We're goin to nationals, ya know." He adds after a while, filling the void with conversation. He's proud, volleyball must be pretty important to him. Makes sense though, he is really good at it and he did say he was a top five ace.

"Oh really? Is that like a big deal or something?" You ask. It sounded like one but then again Bokuto could make barbecue sound important.

"I mean, yeah. We've been the last three years. You should come. Cheer us on. I'd totally do awesome if I knew a pretty girl was cheering me on. Er, I mean the whole team would because of well you're a girl and pretty and something about school spirit-"

"I don't know. I might be busy." You lie. You know that you don't have anything going on. You don't even leave the house if you don't have to go to school.

"Oh. Well these are the spring high nationals. If you really can't make it, I'm sure that our team will make it to the Summer nationals and then you can come to that one."

"Bokuto-senpai-"

"But it would be so awesome if you could come to this one. Hold up, let me text Akaashi and see what day it is and then we can see if you're for sure busy. It'll be a lot of fun and if we keep winning, you can come the next day and-"

Could he not take a hint? Why does he care so much? Why does everyone care, so damn much? Why is everyone so damned insistent on not leaving you alone!? You just want to be alone, you're fine with watching from a distance. Why doesn't anybody get that!? 

You rip your hand out of his and step backwards, safe behind your walls, safe from him. And you shout, "Bokuto-senpai! Just leave me alone!"

  
  


You don't know why you shouted, or what you were going to say. You just wanted him to stop talking, stop trying to include you. You don't care if it's out of pity or if he genuinely wants to be your friend, you just want everything to just stop for a second.

And it does. Bokuto is silent, his eyes wide and shoulders slumped, looking far too much like a puppy that was just scolded. In the silence you notice just how quiet it is today, only the sound of cars driving by accompany your now ragged breathing. 

You don't know why you shouted. But the sad look on Bokuto's face makes you regret it instantly. Your face softens as the pit in your stomach begins to form. You take a step forward, against your better judgment and decide to listen to that nagging voice in your head telling you to stop being a bitch. "Sorry, Bokuto-senpai… I didn't mean to raise my voice. Guess I kinda panicked…"

You frown when your attempt at making amends fails and he still has that sad look on his face. 

"Oh. Oh no, Bokuto-senpai I'm sorry. I'm sorry i didn't mean it, i'm just not used to people. Bokuto-senpai, look at me, i said i was sorry." You say as you start to reach out for him. The older boy continues to pout as he mopily walks away from you to instead lean against the wall of a nearby store.

Is this what Akaashi meant by uncooperative? You didn't know you could make him this upset. You look around, you honestly don't even know where you are right now or what direction home is right now, and with Bokuto's mood as it is now, you doubt you'll be making it home anytime soon. 

You bite your lip before walking over to the third year and leaning against the wall beside him. You look up to him and apologize once more, unsure of what else to say, "I really am sorry."

The volleyball player just groans as he slumps down the wall and plops down onto the floor, "No. You're not, (Y/N)-chan. I know you think I'm annoying and that's why you never want to hangout.. His knees are pulled up to his chest as he hugs them with a rather sullen expression on his face.

"Oh, Bokuto-senpai, that's not true. That's not it at all." You say as you sit down beside him. "I mean… you're you, who wouldn't want to hang out with you, you're funny, and cool, and-" you pause. "Did you hear that?"

Bokuto perks up a bit from his pout as he asks, "hear what?"

The two of you sit in silence as you listen intently. And then you hear it once more. "That. That noise." The small  _ meow _ rang through the air once again. "Kitty." You quickly say, springing to your feet.

"Wait, what?" He asks, also standing up as the two of you round the corner of the store and peek into the alleyway. You hear another small 'meow' as you approach making you jump slightly.

And then you see it. A kitten. A small black kitten with the cutest little white socks on its paws. Ugh it's so cute, you think you're gonna die! "Kitty. Kitty. Kitty." You chant in a whisper as you begin to walk towards it. 

It on the other hand does not reciprocate your feelings of affection. It lets out a pained noise as it tries to scurry towards an empty cardboard box in the alley.

"Awe, its okay little guy. We aren't going to hurt you." Bokuto calls after it. You look at him and it seems as if his whole mood has shifted again. He has dropped the pout in exchange for that old childish grin he gives you on the day to day when he sees you at school. You smile softly at the sight, the weight that was previously on your shoulders lifting a bit. 

The two of you inch towards the box slowly, trying not to spook the animal anymore than it already is. And then the color red catches your eye, making your heart stop. You swiftly tug on your upperclassmen's arm. "Wait, Bokuto-senpai. I think it's hurt you say pointing to the trail of red. "If it's hurt and scared, there's no way he's just going to let us pick him up… Here. Wait here, I got an idea." You say before leaving Bokuto and the kitten.

Within the couple of minutes that it takes you to run into the store and buy canned tuna, you find Bokuto laying flat on his stomach talking to the cat as it continues to hide away in the box. As you pop off the lid to the tuna can, you join him, lying on your stomach as well. 

"Here, kitty. It's cool, we aren't gonna hurt you little dude." Bokuto continues his constant chatter as the kitten peeks its nose out as it smells the fish. "Aww Yeah, you smell that good food don't ya, lil' buddy?"

And soon enough the kitten has joined you as it gobbles down the canned fish. The cat seems actually pretty friendly , like it's used to humans. Maybe it was only scared of the two of because it was hurt, from the looks of it you think it's the back left leg that is injured. You hold out your hand to the animal who looks up from his plate and sniffs it curiously before rubbing its head against it. You smile.

As the kitten rubs against your hand, Bokuto has taken it upon itself to scratch the animals back, making it purr from all the attention it was receiving. Bokuto laughs at the noise and scoops up the cat ," It's settled. I'm calling you Akaashi."

You raise a brow, "Akaashi? Really?"

"Yeah, I mean just look at him." He says as he turns the kitten to face you. Its black fur was short and scruffy, probably from living on the streets. It's paws are disproportionately big but you guess that it's because it's still so young. It did have strikingly bright blue eyes.

You gasp, "oh my god! You're right! They can be twins."

"I know right!" His smile is wide and infectious, causing you to involuntarily smile back. You're happy that the old Bokuto is back, you don't think you could take any more of that sad face of his. "You like your name, Akaashi? Yeah? Yeah, you do." Akaashi meows in response.

"Umm… Bokuto-senpai, we can't name the cat Akaashi." You say hesitantly as you stare at the cat.

"What!? But he already answers to it and everything!"

You grimace as the kitten meows in response to his words, "Well it's just that he, isn't a he. Look. It's a girl." You say poking the kitten's stomach.

Bokuto gasps, then looks at the cat accusingly, "Akaashi! You never told me you were a girl."

"Stop calling her Akaashi." You scold him. You know that the gender of the cat doesn't really matter and that Akaashi, being a surname, would be a fine name. But you also know that your classmate probably wouldn't be thrilled that a stray cat was named after him. So you decide to push the name thing.

But then Bokuto's bottom lip curls into a pout and you almost lose all your resolve. "Um, I mean- well…" you fumble for your words, trying to find an agreeable solution that would benefit everyone. "Oh! I got it. Agassi. I think it means young lady in Korean or something like that. And it sounds sort of similar to Akaashi."

Bokuto's eyes light up, "I like it! Agassi, it is."

"Now that we got the whole name thing figured out, we should probably do something about her leg. I got a first aid kit at home." You say shrugging. Your upperclassmen excitedly nods. You smile softly in return before stepping out of the alley way and looking around.

"Shit, now which way is home again?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thankyou all so much for reading and supporting this fic, i really do have a lot of fun writing it.
> 
> If you wanna pop in and say hi, come join my discord  
> https://discord.gg/8XjKn5m


	5. Imposter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All i ever do is angst, i live and breathe it. So ill preface this with Im Sorry. Just warnin ya i guess

You spin around in your computer chair and groan. Your phone buzzes as the name  **Owl-Senpai** flashes on the screen. Another text asking you to send pictures of Agassi. After taking the cat back to your place where you had bandaged her up, Bokuto originally wanted to keep her and take her to his home before remembering that his mother was allergic. What a shame, you thought, but at least it meant you got to keep the cutest thing on four legs. You never had a pet before and you're starting to wonder why, the kitten is really adorable. The only downside is that Bokuto-senpai thinks she is also his cat and demands that you make up for her absence by keeping him updated with cute cat pictures.

This of course meant that you had exchanged numbers.

So much for keeping a professional distance. This wasn't going the way you wanted it to at all. Were you going soft? Why is it that this big goof can give you a few sad looks and you just turn to putty and give in? 

**Owl-Senpai:** pretty please 

You groan and spin around in your chair once more before stopping in front of your bed and staring at the small black creature curled up on your covers. You snap a quick picture with your phone and send it off before spinning back into the direction of your computer. Slipping on your headset and clicking away at your keyboard you hop onto discord to see if Ken-chan is on. 

Right away you get a ping in the general. 

**Applepi: @Goodpic stop lurking. we're playing among us.**

You smile softly and connect to the voice chat. You think you like the server a lot more ever since Ken-chan joined. It was okay before. You rarely interacted though, you mostly just joined because you wanted to know when your favorite streamer would start his streams. And even when you did interact you got the feeling that the others might have seen you as standoffish. 

Ken-chan was by no means bubbly either but when he joined the server you found that the two of you just had a lot in common. Timezone was a huge factor considering half of the others would be asleep when you were up but there was also your age and games you liked to play. He was also just observant and considerate. Whenever the server would start a game he would always invite you. Like now. 

"Alright boys, who am I killing first?" You joke right off the bat.

"What!? TsunTsun is here? And she's already actin sus, I say we vote her out."

"Shut up Andy. You can have an opinion once you start remembering to turn off your mic when we start the game." You drawl dryly, rolling your eyes.

"That only happened once." The boy says, trying to defend himself.

"It happened when you were imposter. Three times in a row." Ken-chan pipes up.

Through your headset you hear Liz burst out laughing. The sound making even you crack a small smile.

"Damn Andy, not even Rizzy is gonna back you up. Your own girlfriend." Another member taunts as you wait in the lobby of the game. Andy doesn't get a chance to defend himself as the game starts.

An evil grin spreads across your face as you are informed of your role. You know it's a bit mainstream but the game was enjoyable. The deception, mini games, and being able to yell accusations at your fellow crewmates was fun. You remember a particular occasion where everyone was convinced Ken-chan was an imposter because he continually failed at card swipe over and over again. It was funny, he was so mad and embarrassed but it was his first time playing and since then it seems he has mastered the game like most anything he plays.

Time is flying by and you're already finished with half your 'tasks'. You decide to be a good gaming partner and guard Ken-chan while he's in electrical. It isn't too far into the round when an emergency meeting is called, probably pissing Ken-chan off in the progress because, by the looks of it he was in the middle of wiring. 

"Guys. It's TsunTsun." Andy says right off the bat. 

You let out a dry laugh, "Try again incel. It's not me."

"Nope. It's definitely you." He insists.

"Now, Andy. Slow down. You haven't even told us where the body was yet." Liz says coming to your defense.

"It's in Nav."

"Well that settles it, I'm in electrical with Ken-chan." 

"You could have vented. Besides look at the body count, there's clearly other bodies we haven't found yet. Admit to your crimes you devilish tsundere!" You hear Liz, Ken-chan, and a few other crewmates trying to stifle their laughs. "Besides, its so obvious when you're Imposter. You never kill Kenma."

You gasp at his insinuation. "How dare you call me soft you yellow bellied, bean bag lookin, bug."

"He does have a point." Another member pipes up.

"Wha-what no. That's because he's the other imposter. Not that we're the imposters this round- er-"

"This is painful to watch." Liz groans.

"I'm not the imposter. I was in the middle of wiring." Ken-chan defends himself "Which you interrupted… besides, how do we know you're not the imposter? You said you found the body in Nav but we don't have any tasks there. So what were you doing in there, Andy?" 

"Wha- it's not-"

"It's not you? Well then you probably have an alibi right? Was anybody with Andy? Anyone here that can say that they were with him the whole time and that there is no possible way he could be the imposter?… hmm. Interesting, looks like TsunTsun has an alibi while you don't. I think I know how I'm voting."

The votes are counted and you watch as a small yellow bean of a spaceman is shot out of the airlock. You turn your mic off and begin cackling to yourself, accidentally spooking Agassi awake in the progress. The cat lets out a moody meow before hopping off your bed as she begins to explore your room.

A direct message from discord pops up on your screen as you aimlessly follow a crewmate around. 

**Applepi: If i lose this round because i helped you, youre so dead** .

**Goodpic: Oh pls. We both know that you were gonna vote out andy anyway.**

**Applepi: He's right tho.**

**Applepi:You might be great at killing but it's the lying that makes you a shit imposter**

**Goodpic:Ouch.**

**Goodpic:I think i happen to be a great lier Ken-chan**

**Applepi:Yeah maybe to yourself**

**Applepi:Alright lets get back to the game before they think were afk**

**Goodpic:K**

Kenma wins the game, along with the other crewmates. You end up losing on the other hand. Someone walks in on Rizzy killing in admin and a few rounds later you were voted out on the grounds that you were already kind of sus. You type a few gg's in the chat and tell everyone you're callin it a day. 

**Rizard99: aw dont be a sore loser tsuntsun, lets go another round**

**Goodpic: nah im good. Thanks for inviting me though**

**Rizard99: ofcourse! You're our friend after all and we all like playing with you.**

You stiffen at the sight of the words before you. There was no need to make a scene though, all you have to do is gently remind them of the boundaries

**Goodpic: we're not friends lol**

**Dogl0ver: ouch**

**Dogl0ver: F**

**Another Member: F**

**hAndymanny: hey, we kno you're a tsundere or whatever but that was kinda mean tsuntsun.**

Maybe you could have worded it better, you didn't mean to come off that way. Why was this the part that people couldn't understand. Being on good terms and speaking on a daily basis did not make you friends. And even if it did, you don't want any in the first place. You let out a frustrated noise as you begin to type.

**Goodpic: I'm not trying to be mean. Just honest. We're not friends. You guys are just some people i play videogames on the internet with.**

**Rizard99: tsuntsun I-**

**Goodpic: pls stop.**

**Dogl0ver: geez tsun tsun, Rizzy is just trying to be nice. Don't just shut her down**

**Goodpic: Not what im trying to do**

**Goodpic: I just don't want friends. I dont see the point. If it bothers you that much, im sorry but too bad.**

**Rizard99: I'm sorry you feel that way hon. We really do care about you and even if you dont consider us that close, if you ever need anything or going through something I'm sure we all would jump at the chance to help.**

You don't know why but something about Liz's words made you angry. You know that she was trying to be nice but it was wrong. It all felt wrong. You didn't want help. You didn't want people to care or reassure you. You just want to be alone!

**hAndymanny: you don't need to baby her liz**

**hAndymanny: if she wants to be rude we can just let the admins deal with her later, just ignore her for now.**

It's better when they ignore you right? This is the distance you wanted right? Because if they were actually friends this would hurt so much more than it already does.

As you remove your headphones you see that you're getting a call in your DMs. It's not odd for Ken-chan to call you sometimes or vice versa but if it's about you leaving early today or the argument between you, Rizzy, and Andy, he could've just berated you in main like everyone else.

Against your better judgment you answer.

"Okay, whats up?" Ken-chan asks as soon as you connect.

"Well, you called me so I'm pretty sure that I'm the one who is supposed to be asking that."

"Shut up you know what I'm talking about."

"You can be real mean when you want to be, you know that Ken-chan?" You pout.

"Yeah, and so can you." 

You wince at his words, "I wasn't trying to be. You know why I can't do the whole friend thing. You know why I don't want anyone to get close…"

"Tsun Tsun…"

You feel your voice catch in your throat. What were you supposed to say. He knows. He's one of the only people that do. And he knows damn well that you hate talking about it.

"You ever heard of Harold from fallout 3?" He asks after a while.

"No... I didn't play that one." You answer, unsure of where he's heading with this.

"Well I kinda think you're like him. He's a tree."

You let out a pained laugh, "You think I'm a tree?"

"I guess. Harold wasn't always a tree, he was mutated by FEV exposure and eventually the tree growing out of his head and took over his body and rooted him to the ground," He explains

"Rip," You mutter. Sounds pretty sucky, to be honest but you still don't know what this has to do with you.

"Yeah. He was actually a pretty nice and funny guy though. But the thing is that in his quest he asks you to kill him."

"Oh."

Ken-chan continues on talking about the game despite the new pit that has settled in your stomach, "He's depressed because he's stuck in the ground and then there's like, also this religion of people who like worship and love him and everything and want him alive. So the thing is that you can either listen to them and keep him alive or kill him like he wants."

"...Well its obvious right? You do as he wishes and kill him, right?" Sounds like the tree is suffering, its only right to put him out of his misery, right?

"You can do either." He answers simply. "It's your choice in the end… But, there is an option to convince Harold to live. Remind him about how important he is to everyone who loves him, how he can be happy with those around him, and convince him to stick around."

You let his words sink in. You know why he's telling you all this. And it makes you feel sick, it makes you feel so guilty, and worthless, and so so sick.

"… I never said I wanted to die."

You can feel your cheeks growing wetter with every word you choke out. You don't want to cry, you don't even want to have this conversation. On the other side of the call, Ken-chan remains silent.

"Kenma," you breath out his name, begging him to say something. "You do know that I don't want to die, right?"

"… But you don't want to live either, do you? You're like a tree Tsun Tsun. You've dug your roots so deep into the ground and now you find yourself stuck. And even though there are so many people who care about you, you'd rather isolate yourself. You can't even leave your house if it's not for school. You may not want to kill yourself but the way you're living, you might as well be."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." You cry, the tears are streaming down your face now. "I don't wanna die. I'm just scared, I'm so scared of getting hurt. I don't wanna los-"

"(Y/N), don't cry. Come on, Tsun Tsun, I just want you to start taking care of yourself. God, I sound like Kuroo. Listen, its going to be okay? Just stop crying, you're so emotional." He lets out a soft laugh as you continue to sob. You can tell he's getting a bit uncomfortable now so he's trying to cheer you up.

"N-no I'm not!" You wail. "And you suck at comforting people, asshole."

You hear kenma laugh at you from the other end of the line. And through the tears you laugh back. Ken-chan was good, better than you at least. You've known him for so long, he may be the only person you consider a fr- "We're hanging out this weekend." He tells you.

"Huh?" You ask as your laughters stalls while you try to register what it is he just said. "L-like in person?"

"Yeah… We both live in Tokyo, don't we? And I don't have practice, and you need to spend time with friends." 

"Friends…"

"Yeah, sorry tsun tsun but we are in fact friends."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thankyou all so much for reading, the last couple of months have been really rough and i guess haikyuu has really become a source of comfort characters for me. And so writing about them or just watching them seems to cheer me up sometimes so thank you for sitting in on my therepy session
> 
> If you wanna join my discord its  
> https://discord.gg/8XjKn5m


	6. Fireflies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A smile finds its way onto your lips, giving Bokuto the same fuzzy feeling it always does

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually kinda liked this chapter especially during the final scene

You wander into the gym, the sound of sneakers squeaking and balls bouncing off the floor drawing you near. You're surprised that you actually remember how to get there now. Well for the most part. You only got turned around twice.

One of the managers spots you by the door and rushes over, "hey, its you. Bokuto's friend. (L/N), right?"

"Oh, uh yeah. Thats me." you answer awkwardly as you cling to your camera. "You're um… Yukie?"

"Yes! That's right. I'm surprised to see you here, since you only ever came to practice that one time, you know." She laughs.

You nod in response,"an acquaintance- Er…  _ friend  _ of mine, told me that I have been practicing some self destructive behavior and that I should remedy that. So here I am… I guess." You say with a shrug.

"Oh. Well, either way it's good to have you here." She says smiling. From what you can tell she seems sincere, if not a bit tired. Managing an entire volleyball club in your third year does seem like hard work. You're exhausted enough as it is and you do absolutely nothing.

"It's okay if I take pictures right?" You ask as you wander towards the bleachers, scoping out a good perch to photograph from.

"I'm sure the boys won't mi-" shes cut short as a certain third hear rushes up to you both his hands raised as he shouts your name, echoing it throughout the gym.

On instinct you jump up to meet him in the high five. You're a bit ashamed at how easily he managed to train you to respond. But rather than curse you respond with, "good afternoon to you too, Bokuto-senpai."

"(Y/N)-chan, show them! You gotta show em Agassi! I've been telling everyone how cute she is and you gotta show em!" He rambles on as he jumps up and down in front of you.

"Why do I have to? You have enough pictures of her. I know you've made me send plenty." You grumble as he begins to pout, his big owlish eyes making you divert your gaze towards the floor to avoid his puppy dog eyes. 

"I would, but I left my phone in the club room…"

You sigh as you pull out your phone and start looking for a picture of your cat.

"Ah, (L/N) so you're Bokuto's Co-parent," Konoha says, bounding up to the two of you.

You narrow your eyes at him and are just about to deny the ridiculous term when Bokuto answers with a resounding, "Yup!" As he snatches your phone out of your hand and starts to gush over the pictures of the kitten.

As Bokuto shows Komi and Saruki your phone, you turn towards the dirty blonde haired boy. "Listen Konoko."

"Konoha." He corrects

"Whatever." You say gliding past his correction as you roll your eyes, "Just because Mei likes you doesn't mean I'm particularly interested in acknowledging your existence. I only came here for two things, to avoid the third years in the Art Club and to take pictures since Bokuto-senpai is the only one cool enough to offer." As the words tumble out your mouth you bite your lip and do your best to ignore the looks Akaashi and Yukie are giving you after hearing you call your senpai cool. 

Luckily, Konoha didn't notice your slip up. Instead a blush spreads across his face as he awkwardly scratches the back of his neck. "W-wait. Ando really said she liked me?"

You glare at him with a deadpan expression, " _ No.  _ I just said that because I love releasing carbon dioxide into the atmosphere." Finding yourself bored of the conversation you wander off to find your perch on the bleachers.

"What are you saying, Akaashi? She looks just like you!" You hear Bokuto tell his setter. A small smile crawls on your lips as you watch the excited third year ramble on about the similarities between your classmate and your cat. "I mean do you see her eyes? Gosh she's such a pretty kitty." Bokuto coos before he catches your eye and jogs towards you. He holds out your phone toward you, allowing you to finally take it back.

"You're going to take pictures right." You almost open your mouth to give a snarky remark but stop yourself. Instead you nod. The owlish boy breaks into a huge grin, "Awesome. I'll show you my line shots today! You're gonna love 'em!" 

It's weird. You don't know what it is about Bokuto that makes you falter. You would love to disregard him with the same disinterested expression that you do with the rest of the world but, you just can't. And as you watch through the viewfinder of your camera, you are unable to stop yourself from being in awe of him as he practically soars into the air to swat the balls down onto the court, keeping them within the lines painted on the gym floor just barely, everytime he does so. And everytime, without fail, he would jump and cheer and shout out in victory, and you couldn't help but smile at the action. The third year was unlike anyone you had ever met. He was everything you liked about photography. Being able to capture an honest moment in time and finding the utter emotion that resided in it. That was Bokuto. He was honest, raw, emotion. He never faked a smile and posed. He was just himself, whatever emotion came his way, he just felt it, and he felt it with all his heart. Maybe that was what made you falter. Maybe that was what made you admire him.

  
  
  
  


-

  
  
  


Bokuto always thought he got along with people really easily. And for the most part, he did. When he had first joined volleyball, a lot of his team mates, particularly upperclassmen might have found him annoying but things were better now. He had Akaashi, who was an awesome setter. His teammates who supported him through his highs and lows. And volleyball, which went from something he was good at to something he was great at and loved. 

Then there was you.

Bokuto didn't quite grasp at what you were to him. He would call you a friend but you seemed real stiff when it came to that kind of stuff. He was used to quiet people like Akaashi but you weren't quiet, it was more like you were holding back. Because there were slivers of moments when you seemed different, like when he would stop you in the halls and your bored expression would turn into one of determination as you tried to jump up and meet his hands in a high five, despite the height difference. Or the moment you first saw Agassi in that alleyway, your eyes became so soft and evoked a fuzzy feeling in Bokuto's head that he couldn't quite describe. But his favorite moments were when you watched him spike.

It was like there was a wall around you and you truly felt. But Bokuto had dealt with iron walls before and had broken through with his spikes. So breaking through yours wouldn't be that hard right? Because the look you give him when he just finishes a spike and looks to you, your expression is priceless. Your eyes are wide as if you're just seeing it for the first time, seeing him. Your usual deadpanned expression finally cracks into a wide smile that leaves a fuzzy feeling in his stomach. And Bokuto doesn't even think that you know that you're doing it, he doesn't think he'll tell you either. Only because he doesn't want you to stop. Because, when you give him that look, he feels special, and he'll do anything to keep that look on your face.

You surprise him when you agree to go get barbecue with him and the team after practice. But that was probably only because your friend from the art club showed up and Konoha invited her as well. Which would have been fine but, Bokuto couldn't help feel disappointed as you all walked to his favorite BBQ spot, while you held your friends hand tightly. His fingers twitched as the spaces between them felt empty. 

Akaashi can't help but notice the ace pouting as he trudges towards the restaurant. Which was odd, normally Bokuto would be ecstatic to go out to dinner. The setters eyes dart from his friend to you and he instantly realizes what had his senpai in such a mood.

"Bokuto-san?" Akaashi says to get the owlish boy's attention. The older boy only turns to him to give him a sad look. It seemed as if he had already settled into emo mode.

"Wow. What's up with Bokuto?" Yukie asks as she walks beside Akaashi. The setter answers by pointing to you as you walk ahead, your hand gripped tight to Ando's as she talks to Konoha. The manager lets out an 'ah' in realization.

"Akaaaaashi. It's not fair… I'm the one who invited her. Why isn't she holding my hand?" Bokuto pouts. 

The second year returned his gaze towards you. He was rather perceptive and thought quickly on his feet, he had to if he was to deal with Bokuto's rapid mood swings. Akaashi had noticed two things.the first being your odd behavior whenever the group would reach an intersection in the road. Your shoulders would tense up and it seemed like you would try to make yourself smaller as you leaned into Ando's side. The second thing he had noticed was Ando's behavior. She barely reacted to you as you clutched onto her, almost as if this was a normal occurance, though she also seemed rather occupied with speaking to Konoha, whose pink tinted cheeks matched hers as they spoke. 

By the time they had finished crossing the street, Akaashi already knew his next course of action. "(L/N)-san." He called out as he waved you towards him, Yukie and Bokuto. 

You turned to him as you hesitantly let go of Mei's hand. She doesn't seem to notice or mind at least because she continues to walk ahead. "Whats up?" You ask awkwardly. Do they want to talk? Is this the part where you converse with your  _ friends  _ about how  _ excited  _ you are to  _ hang out _ or that you're  _ super stressed about midterms coming up? _ Ugh, is that really what you are? A stereotypical teenager who has mindless conversations with her peers? You're going to have to tell Ken-chan that you are seriously rethinking this branching out and making friends thing.

"Ando and Konoha are getting pretty close, huh?" He says nodding towards the two.

You shrug, "Seems so. I guess I'm happy for her, she's finally getting her Shoujo Romance. It's cute or whatever, but at the same time disgusting. But who are we to judge, we are but the supporting cast in this B rated romance anime." Yukie chuckles at your words. You were fine with being an extra, you would have your small character arc and then you could fall back into the background and hopefully no one will bother you about your walls for a while. 

You watch the new budding couple as you walk, now occasionally nodding at something Yukie says, oddly enough she has become the most talkative of the group. Why the usually boisterous Bokuto was so quiet, you have no idea. But all musings aside, you had to admit that there was something abhorrently poetic about watching the girl who has walked aside you for the past five four years, walking just a few paces ahead, away from you, not quite leaving you behind but not holding out her hand to help you along either. The situation becomes all the more uneasy to you when the group reaches another crosswalk and your  _ friend  _ doesn't look back to you to see if you're okay.

You're not. And the uneasiness bubbles up inside of you until you find your fingers reaching out to grasp the hand of the strangely quiet third year boy beside you. And for maybe the first time since the entire group had started their trek to the BBQ place, he looks at you, his eyes brightening a bit as if the fog in his amber irises had cleared. Then a smile curls on his lips. "It's okay, I told you that you could keep holding my hand if you wanted too."

Embarrassed, you don't say anything, instead choosing to look both ways as you cross the street, trying to avoid looking up into his bright owlish eyes.

  
  


\---

  
  


It's when you are sitting in the large booth, squished in between Bokuto and the other fukurodani manager Koari, that you notice that whatever must have made the ace so quiet on the walk here is over now because he is as loud as ever, shouting across the table to his team mates and pounding his fists on the table in excitement as you wait for your food.

"Bokuto-san, you should stop that. The wait staff may find it rude." Akaashi tells him with an exasperated sigh as Komi and Saruki, seated beside and across from him, stuff paper into their plastic straws to shoot back and forth at each other. You take the opportunity to snap a picture of Komi as a wad of paper hits him in the eye and he recoils in disgust. Poor Akaashi, he was truly the only adult at a table full of children.

"Relax. It's cool Akaashi, they love me here. I'm their best customer." Your senpai says proudly. He then turns to you, still pounding his fist and smiles invitingly, " Come on it's fun."

Your fingers still grasp onto your camera as if it were a floatation device and you were in the middle of a raging ocean. In a sense you were. Truth be told, you haven't been to a restaurant in years, after all why leave your house when delivery exists? But you thought you were faring well so far, you have yet to drown tonight and you're sure that Bokuto beside you looked like he was a good enough swimmer that he wouldn't let you sink.

So you let your fingers ball themselves into fists and hesitantly place them onto the table. "Hey! Hey! Hey!" Bokuto cheers in victory. He slows down the pounding of his fists to allow you to catch up. Eventually you find your pace and are able to match his. When he speeds up, it almost becomes a game for you to try to keep up and stay in sync. You smile as the two of you pound your fists on the table "Yakiniku! Yakiniku! Yakiniku!" He starts to cheer, making you join in. Soon enough the waitress places your table's plates down as she rolls her eyes and tries to suppress a chuckle.

"Itadakimasu!" Bokuto shouts as he claps his hands together and licks his lips. After Bokuto had successfully summoned his meal, you can't help it any longer, a cackle escapes from your lips and you begin to laugh. Maybe there was a carbon dioxide leak somewhere in the restaurant because why else would you willingly humor your senpai and  _ laugh  _ on top of everything else. You had truly become weak for the owl boy's charms…

From across the table you make eye contact with Mei who's covering a large smile painted on her lips while her glossy eyes stare into your soul, "(Y/N)-chan…" she says shakily as if she was on the verge of tears. "I've known you for so long and I have never heard you laugh like that. You have such a cute laugh!" 

You gasp in horror, "I- I do not!" 

"Yeah. You do." Bokuto defends Mei's words through bites, " 's the cutest." Your face heats up as you nervously begin to fiddle with your camera once more. You hear a few giggles around the table and you're sure that Yuukie is giving you some type of look. "Eat up. You need to eat more" the boy orders.

You groan but oblige as you poke at your grilled meat.

"So you're into photography, (L/N)?" You hear Koari ask from beside you as she takes a bite from her own plate.

"Yeah." You reply, "It's sorta my life…"

"Oh that's right, you're in the art club with Ando, right?" Konoha asks

"No." You and your friend answer at once. Embarrassed from the looks she received, Mei clears her throat, "I mean (Y/N)-chan doesn't really get along with our senpais in the club."

"That's because they are all self centered dictators whose self interests will inevitably become their own downfall." You grumble bitterly.

"Yeah… But they still let you use the darkroom." She says, though her words are in their defense, how weakly she says them tells you that she doesn't really believe them.

"Pfft. Yeah, only because last year's third years made them." You say rolling your eyes.

"Wait so there's no photography club?" Yuukie asks as she stuffs her mouth with food. You swear that girl could put more away than Bokuto. 

"Nah, but you tried to get one started last year, right (Y/N)-chan?" Bokuto says. 

You blink. You couldn't believe that he had remembered something you only said in passing whenever you had only first met. "Uh, yeah. No one really wanted to join though."

Komi lets out a gasp, "Wait I remember you from the school festival last year!" Your eyes widen at his sudden declaration. "Those really were your pictures at your booth? They were really good."

"Oh. Um, thankyou… I didn't have a lot of time to prepare and I was on my own so it didn't turn out all that great... " 

"Well, why don't you try starting one again? The school festival isn't for a while, so you'll have plenty of time to work on a booth, we'll help you out too." Yukie tells you. You blink at her, people are so utterly strange. You don't even know half of these people and they offer their help so readily. So strange but still, really, really nice.

  
  


\--

  
  


"We lost them didn't we?" You ask as you glare up at the big oaf beside you. When Bokuto had offered to walk you home, you knew that you should have declined. After all, Mei was walking the same way as you, so to have Bokuto join you, only to have to walk all the way to his home in the opposite direction after dropping you off seemed counterintuitive. But then Yuukie had pointed out that Konoha had already offered to walk Mei home and that they probably wanted some alone time, you begrudgingly agreed.

But to be honest the walk home confused you about as much as the volleyball club's manager's offer to help you start up a photography club during dinner. Because as you and the owl haired ace trailed about thirty or so paces behind the blossoming couple, you felt weird.

You would be the first to admit that you weren't good with emotions. But that didn't mean you were a total stranger to them either. You knew what grief, anger, relief, and contentment felt like. Sure you rarely smiled or laughed at school but when you were at home with just your dad or talking to Ken-chan, you did smile, you did laugh, but that was because you were more comfortable with them. So yeah, you were no emotionless robot but nonetheless, you did feel as if you were short circuiting as of late. Could it have been since Ken-chan had ordered you to open up more to your schoolmates and try making real friends? Because until now you never saw yourself as reliant on Mei but now you feel strangely lonesome now that she's holding some boy's hand instead of yours, could it be because you had finally accepted her as a friend or were you always silently dependent on her and just never noticed until now. But, who's to say that your newly short circuited range of emotions stem from your newfound acceptance of the word friend? After all, as far as you can recall the earliest incident of you calm, repetitive day to day being disrupted was when a certain somebody tripped over you when all you were trying to do was take pictures of ants. So this is all his fault right? If it wasn't for him you wouldn't be so jealous or embarrassed or get excited over something aside from photography, or want to laugh so hard over something so god damn stupid just because it's  _ him. _

Because it's his fault. And it's his fault for wanting to point out every corner store and restaurant and tell you about their menu, and making you lose Konoha and Mei. "Dammit Bokuto-senpai! I told you that we needed to catch up with them. Now we're lost and it's dark and I don't know how to get home and I'm gonna die here on the streets!" You shout frustrated as you pound your fists on his broad chest.

Bokuto, who you have backed into the railing of the small bridge you're on, lets out a laugh as you pointlessly try to punch him. You seemed mad so he figured you probably just needed to burn yourself out. "It's okay (Y/N)-chan. We still have your phone so we can just pull up maps to get back to your place like last time."

"That's not the point." You crie as you pound your fist on his chest. Yet another strong emotion he has drawn out of you, indignation. He throws his head back laughing at you as you shout, he couldn't help it, the way you thought balling your tiny fist up and hitting him with it like it should hurt was adorable. But as he let out a hearty laugh, throwing his head back, he began to lose his balance and fell back over the railing.

You gasp and cover your mouth. Oh no. You kille. Bokuto-senpai. You rush forward towards the railing to peer over it to see Bokuto laying on his back in the grassy area below still laughing, you sigh in relief. The drop from the bridge was probably only 2 or 3 feet and crossed over what looked to be an old canal or run off that was overgrown with grass and weeds. You throw your leg over the bridge and jump down, rushing towards the boy who's still cackling on the ground.

"G-get up Bokuto-senpai! You scared me to death. Ugh, I thought you died, could you please stop laughing!" You scold him as you grab his shirt and begin violently shaking him.

"Okay, okay, I'll stop." He laughs as he wipes the tears forming in his eyes. Then he stops, his draw drops slightly, his bright amber eyes widening as lights begin to dance in their reflection. You turn to see what it was that had grabbed his attention. Just above the tall grass, blinking against the black canvas of the evening sky, were little dancing stars.

"Fireflies." Bokuto gasps as he scrambles to his feet.

You gaze at the sight before you. Fireflies, you had never seen them in real life before, only ever in like cartoons and movies. They looked like stars that had landed on earth to play in the weeds and wildflowers of this old canal bed. You quickly lift your camera to your face and try to capture the sight. Bokuto however rushes towards the glowing bugs with wild abandon. You pause as you watch him run around before you focus your camera in on him. The tall grass reached up to the boy's knee making him look like more of a child than he already was as he chased the fireflies.

You snap picture after picture of the scene before you. Some of just the fireflies, and some of Bokuto as he played among the lightning bugs. You're in the middle of adjusting the focus on your camera when you hear Bokuto say in the quietest voice you have ever heard him use say, "Hey, check it out " You jump slightly when you notice just how close he was standing to you. Bokuto however, hardly seemed to notice as he stared down at his cupped hands. A soft warm glow, radiating from his palms where the firefly he holds binks, paints his face with light. It's in these small moments where the word breathtaking crosses your mind but an anxious fear would never allow you to say it aloud, instead you lift your camera to take a picture. It's easier.

"Here, hold it." His words make you falter. You don't take the picture. Instead you slowly let go of your camera and hesitantly hold out your hands in a poor imitation of Bokuto's delicately cupped ones. A small gasp escapes your lips as the ace gently transfers the bug to your palms and you now hold the twinkling star.

A smile finds its way onto your lips, giving Bokuto the same fuzzy feeling it always does. If he were better with words the term breathtaking may have crossed his mind but, the third year was at a loss for words, as he took in the sight of you giddily holding the firefly in cupped hands staring down at it with childlike wonder and a smile that sent him over the moon.

So instead he lifted his phone and took a picture.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I have only been posting like monthly, thats on me. Depression takes up a lot of time lol 😅 but i hope you liked this chapter, thanks for sticking with me.  
> If you wanna join my discord go ahead!  
> https://discord.gg/8XjKn5m


	7. Kotatsu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loving you is like falling asleep underneath the kotatsu. My father always warns me that Im going to burn myself on the heater if Im not careful but here I am anyways. You see the blanket is just so warm and so comfortable. And the feeling it leaves me with is a calm sense of safety. So Ofcourse i was bound to fall... Asleep that is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Think of this as my birthday present to you! Thats right, its your girl's birthday and i wanted to celebrate by giving you this chapter, I hope your day is amazing ❤

Can cats eat eggs? The question danced through your head as Agassi peered up at you while you sat at your dining room table eating breakfast. You pull out your phone from your pocket and start typing the question into the browser's search bar. Sure the kitten had her own food but you weren't sure if you could say no to her when she looked at you with those big doe eyes.

Humph, wonder where she got that from.

You groan to yourself, you can't get that ignoramus out of your head can you?

You blush to yourself as you remember the previous night. You don't know why though. Sure you found your senpai attractive but you found plenty of people objectively good looking, as most artists do. The thing was not all objectively good looking people were like Bokuto, they weren't so emotionally honest, or kind, or funny, or-

You need to stop this train of thought now! You are treading dangerous waters now. Its fine that you recently accepted him as a friend, doing so was good and a healthy part of your character development. But having thoughts like this was going too far. He can be your friend but it would be unwise of you to not put some distance between the two of you and dive into the water head first.

You glance back at your phone, trying to get your mind off the upperclassmen who shall not be named. After skimming through a few articles you deemed your breakfast safe to share with the feline. It was cooked after all and as long as you did so in moderation it should be fine.

You slip the remainder of your fried egg under the table to the small cat, who eagerly gobbles it up. As you rise from your chair to put your dirty dish in the sink, a knock comes from the front door. You continue to rinse your plate off, ignoring whoever was at the front door as they knocked again. You knew it wasn't your father, he would still be out on his business trip and he had a key anyways. It was probably a salesman, best to just act like no one is home until they went away. As you finish cleaning up , you notice that the knocking hadn't stopped as you predicted it would, instead it grew more frequent and the loud wrapping on your door was becoming more rhythmic, almost as if the solicitor was playing the drums on your doorway. 

You grunt in frustration. This better be important, the weekends are supposed to be your ' _ you' _ time. The days where you can just lounge around and play videogames and waste hours scrolling through pinterest for no reason at all. You stomp over to the door and open it just a crack so you are able to glare through the small opening in the doorway. You jump back as your eyes catch sight of a pair of amber ones

"(Y/N)-chan! Good morning! I brought breakfast, lets eat already!" Bokuto shouts through the door.

With a sigh you unhook the chain lock on your door and open it up to let your senpai in. "I already ate," You inform him.

"Eh? Oh come on, I know you. You're probably starving, you never eat enough." He says as he drops a bag full of takeout on your kitchen table.

You stare silently at the bag before beginning to grumble to yourself, "... Yeah, sure. Come on in. Make yourself at home. Silly me for thinking half a fried egg would ever be enough for a balanced breakfast… silly me…"

"Yup. Silly you." Bokuto says as he leans over to pinch your cheek. For some reason you find yourself smiling, even as you swat away Bokuto's hand. With a cheesey grin he raises a brow at you as his amber eyes dart over to the table, urging you to sit and eat. You groan as you flop down in a chair and begin to tear into a takeout box. You begin to grumpily stab at the food with the chopsticks and stuff the soba in your face. 

"Why are you here anyways? I don't remember inviting you over." You tell him as he sits down across from you. He frantically fumbles with the takeout bag as if he hadn't eaten in months when you very suspect that he has already eaten even more than you have this morning.

"Well, you didn't say that I couldn't come over." He points out before stuffing a mouthful of noodles in his face, "besides, I wanted to see Agassi… Oh! And you."

"And me…" you parrot, you know you should be offended for being reduced to an afterthought, especially so since that thought comes after a cat of all things. But since you know the cat, and know that she is literally the best thing since sliced bread and has warmed your heart like freshly baked toast. If it were you, you doubt you would have any qualms about a kitten being the sole reason for your visitation except it would be a lie. You know damn well that you find yourself inexplicably drawn to Bokuto.

"Meowr." The noise comes from the ground and rubs against your leg, the kitten weaves through your legs and under the table till she makes her way to your senpai. Standing up on her hind legs Agassi claws and pads at his pant leg, purring for attention.

Of course Bokuto swoops the feline up instantly. "Don't encourage him Agassi. You'll only make him want to visit more." You tell the cat sarcastically as you finish your food.

"Ah, stop acting like you don't love me, (Y/N)-chan." He says swatting away your words away with a wave of his hand. "Besides, I like your place. It's awesome."

The apartment you shared with your father could be considered 'awesome' you guess. There were so many prints and photographs hung on the wall that no one would be able to guess the color of the original wallpaper. In a back room that was probably meant to be a guest bedroom or home office was now turned into a darkroom that your father often operated in whenever he was home. But really, other than the major focus on photography as your father's choice of decorating, it was just your average Japanese home. Not that it wasn't awesome to you but, it's still a surprise that others would like it as well.

After Bokuto finishes his soba, you begin collecting empty takeout boxes off the table to throw in the trash. "You know I've walked you home a couple of times already but I've never actually gotten a tour of the place." Bokuto says as he starts to peek out of the kitchen and into the living room.

"Knock yourself out." You tell him. 

"Come on (Y/N)-chan give me the tour! Tour! Tour! Tour!" He cheers bouncing up and down, Agassi still snuggled up in his arms.

"Fine. Fine, I'll give you a tour or whatever." You say in defeat, a small laugh escaping your lips nonetheless whenever you see the unbridled joy on the owlish boys face. "So you already saw the kitchen," you say as you walk out of it and enter the next room, your senpai following in tow. "This is the living room. Pretty self explanatory, we do most of the living here." 

"Oh! You got a kotatsu!? We could have ate in here!"

You shrug, "eh, I usually end up just passing out whenever I get under the blanket."

Bokuto has already moved passed the low heated table and is marveling at some prints your father took while in France of landmarks and the people. You watch as he bounces from photos, to pieces of furniture, to an odd statue of a woman that doubles as a lamp that your father brought home one day. You find yourself smiling at his childlike wonder as he explores. Your breath hitches in your throat when his eyes land on a particular corner of the room. You have to mentally prepare yourself for the questions you know are coming any second now.

It feels like an eternity as he looks at the small shrine that holds your mother's urn and portrait. You bite your lip anxiously, praying he doesn't ask the one question you are dreading. Thankfully, he doesn't. Instead all he says is, "She looks a lot like you."

"I- uh- my dad used to say that a lot. I don't really see it…" you say fumbling over your words.

"She's pretty, like you." He states as he looks at her portrait, nodding to himself as if to confirm his own statement. It's the only photograph in the house of the woman, and though you agree that it's quite lovely, you prefer not to look at it. 

So you mutter a quick "Thanks." And begin walking towards the hall, ready to move on and continue the tour.

It's when you find yourself pulled in from behind as two large arms encapsulate your form that a gasp escapes your lips. As Bokuto hugs you from behind and buries his face into the crook of your neck, he is unusually quiet. But he's warm. And this feels _ different.  _ You feel different, you don't want to shrink away and groan when it comes to Bokuto's touch, now you find yourself welcoming it. You find yourself in the halls sometimes waiting for him to pop out so you can give him a high five. You don't dread it every time he slings an arm over your shoulder, because he's so warm. And you like him. You like Bokuto.

As you sink into the warmth of his touch and into this new revelation you don't say anything. Maybe a part of you is afraid that you'll screw it up somehow. You've never felt this way before and you know you're going to screw it up somehow. You just do, you always push people away. For the longest time you were so scared to even admit when you became friends with someone. Now-

"Wait what's today?" You ask as you pull away from him and rush down the hall towards a calendar.

"Uh- Saturday?" He answers a bit confused

"Shit. I totally forgot." You say as you grab onto fistfuls of your hair in frustration.

"Forgot wha-"

"You should probably leave." You say, cutting him off as you brush past him and into the bathroom. You need to comb your hair, it's a mess, you can't believe Bokuto didn't say anything.

"Why?" His brows are furrowed up in confusion as watches you dart about the house.

"I have a prior engagement." You answer plainly.

"... Can we pretend that I don't know what that word means for a second."

You let out a sigh, "it means I made plans with someone and I completely forgot, so I have to get ready."

"Oh… so you have like, a date." 

"I guess that can be considered a synonym. Good job Bokuto-senpai." You praise him as you slip on your jacket. Should you be wearing a jacket? Is it jacket weather outside? Ugh you really hope that you and Ken-chan aren't going to be spending a lot of time outside, talk about anxiety inducing.

"I guess… I um, should probably go then so you can get ready… or whatever." You senpai mumbles as he walks towards the front door. Odd, he seems sorta down… You wonder what could have possibly put Bokuto into one of his emo moods. Is it because you're asking him to leave?

"Wait. Bokuto-senpai!" You call out to grab the sad ace's attention. "Thankyou for the food… And thanks for this'' you say before glomping onto him, your arms wrapping him in some semblance of a hug. Your face is on fire and you are a thousand percent sure that it is redder than a tomato at the moment. As you pull away you only hope that the gesture was enough to cheer him up.

When you look up at him, the third year's cheeks are dusted a light pink as the corners of his mouth curl up into what can only be described as a flustered smile, "Uh yeah. Yeah! You're welcome, no problemo. Anytime. Anytime at all. Uh- uh, yeah… " he stumbles away from you and towards the door. He doesn't seem to be in emo mode at the moment but his odd behavior still worries you, so you follow him to the door in order to see him out safely. When he does reach the door he whips around to look at you, "You're coming to the game right? Summer Nationals? I can have Akaashi text the time and address to you because I can't really remember anything right now… I literally can't think right now, I feel super fuzzy." He says his face red. "Please come."

You don't know what to say. If you were anyone else the answer would be obvious. You have already admitted to yourself that you like Bokuto, you know that you are happier in his presence, and you genuinely love watching him play volleyball. And yet here you are searching for a reason to say no, praying that you'll fall ill and be unable to attend, mustering up the courage to be the bitch you know you can be and tell him to not get his hopes up. He really shouldn't get his hopes up, because as much as you like this boy, life and the idea of love is fleeting and he shouldn't waste time on you because- because you're scared.

"I'll think about it. Goodbye Bokuto-senpai." You tell him before closing the door. You can't hear him return your farewell through the door and at the moment you really don't want to. Instead you want to get a hold of yourself, and splash some water on your face. You need to finish getting ready for when Ken-chan comes over today.

  
  


__

You had accidentally fallen asleep tucked into the kotatsu waiting for your online friend to arrive. It's the sound of knocking that wakes you up. You curse at the sound as it awakens a sleeping Agassi, who was curled up next to you. You groan as you pick yourself off the floor and make your way to the front door, where Agassi is already patiently waiting. You wonder if she thinks Bokuto is going to come back. You smile at the kitten before shooing her away so you can open the door.

"Hey." The boy says awkwardly as he stares at the ground in front of him, his dyed blonde hair falls forwards and covers his face. You look him up and down. This was the first time you had ever seen Kenma in person. You've seen him before in pictures and over facetime but this was a big step in your  _ friendship.  _

"I thought you'd be taller." You say aloud

Instantly, his head shoots up to glare at you. "Shut up Tsun Tsun. You look like you just woke up." He shoots back. Yes, trading insults definitely makes you less anxious about today. You crack a smile and reach over to ruffle his hair. He retaliates by batting your hand away.

You decide to tease him more as you start cooing at him like a baby, "Oh Ken-chan, I cant get over how stinkin cute you are. You know what, I can't remember if I've said it before but you make an adorable blonde. The color suits you."

"Great, now I have to grow it out." He mumbles grumpily under his breath, "Are you ready to go yet or not?"

"Ready as I'll ever be." 

_

  
  


If your friend has noticed the ironclad grip on his sweater sleeve, he hasn't said anything about it. For that you're thankful. Ken-chan isn't like Mei or Bokuto, he wouldn't make a big deal out of you holding his hand and get all excited like a big doofus but, if you were to actually physically interlock your fingers with his you know for certain that he will make fun of you for it later in the discord. But he's heard you vent to him before, he knows you got issues so you assume he's just doing you a solid and letting this slide.

"Are we there yet?" You groan as the two of you walk.

"Yeah… Almost." By the sound of his breathing you can tell he's tired of walking too. "The gaming cafe is too close to take the train." He tells you, already knowing what you were about to say.

You just pout. He's right, if you took the train you would just end up having to cross even more streets in the long run. Not worth it.

"We could've just stayed at my place, theres games there." You point out

"I'm trying to be a good friend. Like Kuroo says, 'someones got to get you out of your comfort zone.' Besides people watching from your roof doesn't count for human interaction." He says

"I don't know who this Kuro guy is but if I see him on the streets his ass is dust. And you're one to talk, you don't like people either." This earns you an elbow jab to the ribs, "And I've been getting human interaction Ken-chan, just like you said." You point out the progress you've made at school.

"Yeah? With who, Ant Boy?" The blush that reaches your ears is immediate. Seeing this Kenma seems taken aback, "Wait. Really?" 

"I like him, Ken-chan. Like, like-like." You tell him. It's the first time you've said it aloud, the sound of it sorta makes you feel fuzzy. In a good way.

Kenma looks at you, brows raised, " I wasn't expecting that."

"It's your fault really. You're the one who said to make friends and have feelings. Awful idea, really."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading. You are awesome and if you ever want tostop by the discord, feel free. We got some real sweethearts in there  
> https://discord.gg/8XjKn5m


End file.
